I’ll start by saying that everyone’s story is different. Not all pregnancies are the same and not everyone is supposed to feel a certain way about them. It’s just different and that’s that! But I’d like to talk about mine!
New Years Eve.. on my way to work I stopped to buy the morning after pill. We had a little accident and I thought long and hard for a couple of days but ultimately realized I wasn’t ready to have a baby and decided to grab the pill. On my way in, I stopped at Walgreens, took the pill then went about my day. That night we partied, had drinks, I didn’t think much of it. The rest of the month went like that as well. Until I missed my period!
First test I took came out positive, then the next, then the next. It was obvious, I was pregnant! I called my mom right away and to everyone’s surprise.. I wasn’t happy. I was scared, disappointed, and unsure. I waited a few weeks till I told my boyfriend because I couldn’t accept it. I wasn’t ready. He had just told me he didn’t want kids anymore. We just weren’t in that place.
After long conversations with my mom and my boyfriend we decided to give it a go and that I would have this baby no matter what. It took me a long time to accept it, to love it, to embrace it. Was really tough not how most woman feel. I just kept having to remind myself that I was blessed with a gift some women can only hope for. And after a few months, as my tummy grew and a couple ultrasounds and heart beats later.. I fell in love.
I realized I’ll never be alone ever again. I will always have my son with me and I’ll always have someone that loves me unconditionally.
The months following were tough. I’ll tell you women reading this, try your hardest to not stress and get rest. My pregnancy was easy and healthy but boy was I stressed out over other things. Work load, traveling, driving long distances everyday, trying to stay fit, and lack of support from some people really took a toll on my pregnancy and I found myself alone a lot.
My advice.. if you’re planning to become pregnant make sure you’re in a good place. That the love and bond you have in your relationship is strong enough to handle it. That your partner understands what you’re going through and supports you. That your job understands and gives you some breaks. And that your heart is truly in it. I also suggest buying a heart montitor to listen to the baby’s heart beat. Whenever I felt my lonliest, I listened to his heart beat and remembered he is all I care about and I’m never alone. Thanks for that gift mom!
He’s here now, my little tortuga! And has it been a roller coaster following my up and down pregnancy? YES! That’s for another post!