My Birth Story!

Finally, my birth story! It’s taken me long enough to write this post and lately I’ve been so full of love from Lucas that I knew this was a good time to finally post about it!

September 7th,2016 I went to work that day. I felt absolutely nothing that morning, I went about my normal day. Driving an hour to work and waddling around the office was no biggie. I did had to leave early since I had a doctors appointment to make sure all was good since I did have a scare the week before. I drove an hour back up to Wellington to see my awesome gynecologist Dr. Knowlton. She did the usual check, I was I think 70% effaced and 1cm dilated so we knew nothing was happening anytime soon. I took this chance to discuss my options, fears, and plans. She never did believe in plans, she would totally listen and do as you wanted but she always left it up to your body knowing when it’s ready. I always thought my body was “too small” to handle child birth. So I asked her what she thought and she said we should check the size of the baby in an ultrasound the week after and see if he can fit through the birth canal. If not, we can discuss possible C section. We had a great conversation, I asked her serious questions and she gave me the best answers. All in all, I left feeling confident and hopeful. I just decided I’ll pray and listen to my body!

That night, I remember taking a shower then heading over to the couch to watch TV. I started to feel this warm sensation down there. I thought, dammit I peed myself! But I didn’t sneeze or cough so I let it go. Then it felt uncomfortable, so I thought well it was from my pelvic exam probably I’ll go check it out. As I walked into the bathroom, it was waterworks. I mean a full on shower! Not like in the movies, but I was standing over a puddle! So I did what we all do, slightly panic calmly. I called my mom first and asked her what she thought and she said “OMG I’ll be right there”. She is also an hour away. Then I realized, this is it!!! I called John, “Hey, are you busyyyy?”. “Yes, I’m at the gym whats up?”. “My water just broke!!!”. I could hear the nerves and panic in his voice! He was an hour away too!

I calmly changed my clothes and walked over to the exercise ball and started bouncing. I thought, I have plenty of time. I called my doctor, they told me to go to the hospital but I waited a little. I kept bouncing and doing lunges and squats, and acting calmly! I decided, I should eat something small even though I was told no to but I know myself. I had toast with peanut butter and a protein bar! Random, but it’s all I could manage since I was secretly panicking by myself! Then I got our hospital bags ready as I waited for John then kept bouncing. He got home rather quickly, showered packed a bag and off we went!

We arrived at Wellington Regional Medical Center, let me tell you that this hospital is amazing. I was back and forth about hospitals but I’m so glad I chose this one. I’ll explain why later. John stops at Emergency and we are greeted by a security guard who grabbed a wheel chair. I said I’m having a baby, he said alright just give me a second. I said, I’m leaking sir and I showed him my pants. He said “OMG lets go now!”. We didn’t wait for John, he wheeled me up to L&D!

I was checked in and got lucky enough to have one of the biggest rooms on the floor. I was so happy and excited and nervous of course. This was all around 11pm at night so we  knew we were in for a longer night ahead. My mom finally got there shortly after, I was so happy that she was there. It’s true, a girl really needs her momma in a time like this! John came upstairs and all three of us played the waiting game. We prayed and got the night started. I changed into a labor gown I found on Amazon that was so so comfy. I met a few of the nurses who would be taking care of me, if it weren’t for these girls I wouldn’t have been able to get through my night. My nurse overnight was amazing, she acted like a doula. She did exercises with me, had me get up and move around, she did breathing with me, she gave me positive affirmations, she was amazing. I owe a lot of my progress to her and the other amazing nurses. For anyone else going through this, make sure you do the exercises and breathing techniques, they seem silly but they work!

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Next came the epidural. John, he was amazing at this moment. I think we are all extremely scared of this injection. “If you move, you’ll become paralyzed!” John held me and said “You’re strong, you can do this, you’re going to be fine” and he was right. I took it like a champ! Then to our surprise, the medicine didn’t work! I felt everything on one side of my body but not the other! Then I couldn’t feel a thing and got extremely nauseous, then I felt everything! It really was a roller coaster!

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19 hours later, painful contractions, and an epi that barely worked.. I woke up from a “nap” saying I was feeling a lot of pressure. The nurse checked me and said, you’re ready to push! We did some practice pushes while they called my doctor in and told her I’m a good pusher! She was there in 5 min. John was on one side, my mom on the other, I pushed for a good 10 minutes and after a few really strong hard pushes, Lucas was born ❤

4:53pm, I heard a little cry and my whole life changed. The amount of love that overcame me was indescribable. Then I held my baby and it was just so amazing. Words can’t describe that feeling. I looked over at John and seeing his eyes water up, this big strong man was vulnerable, it made me love him more than I ever thought I could. It was just an amazing experience.

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My birth story was amazing because of God. I prayed so much for things to go the way they did and God heard me. He delivered. I owe it to God, John, my mom, my doctor, and those nurses for an experience I will remember for the rest of my life. Should you be so lucky to have this experience, you are so blessed.

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Irena ❤

Mom: Lucas is Sitting Up!

So I decided to start posting more on my blog to document Lucas’s life and everything else going on in mine as I had first intended this blog to be for! Lucas turned 6 months old on March 8th. The time just flew! It felt like it would take forever to get to the 6 month mark but it was here before I knew it. I haven’t done pictures or a celebration yet, I planned to do that this weekend with his father. We want to give him his first meal together as a family. I cannot wait! 

Earlier this week, just the day before he turn 6 months I wanted to try and sit him up. So I sat on the floor with him and propped him up! I scooted away and he stayed for about a minute until he toppled over! But he did it!

Now he’s getting the hang of sitting with toys in front of him. Picking them up and letting them go! He’s doing fantastic. Now we’ll work on getting him to prop himself up. A good mommy friend of mine showed me a great exercise she did with her baby boy, so that’s what we’ve been doing as well. This is so exciting and such a big deal in his development. Lucas I’m so proud of you my beautiful big baby boy! 


When did your babies start to sit up? 
– Irena 💙

Pray: I can do all things..

A couple of my favorite verses throughout the Bible are some of the most popular actually. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” and “The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want”. 

They both hold significance in my life and as my days go on and I go through certain experiences in my life, they couldn’t be more fitting. 

In the past year, I have been “forgetting” to pray. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true and common from what I’ve been told. I used to pray every night. The same little prayer I came up with that I felt covered all bases and I could go to sleep knowing God heard me and will deliver! But in the past year, that prayer isn’t spoken as much. This makes me sad because I have so much to be thankful for and I feel so blessed. 

I realized that since I haven’t been praying, I can’t do all things without Christ. My strength isn’t where it’s supposed to be and it’s because I’ve neglected the most important relationship I have, with God. He has proven to me that whenever I’m down, He picks me up. If I need that backbone to handle a situation, He gives it to me. I miss that. I need that back. 

The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want. With the Lord watching over me and taking care of me, I lack nothing. But because I haven’t been watering this plant (our relationship), it’s not blooming like it should. Now more than ever, I need to. There’s a new little person in my life who also needs all of Gods blessings!

The point of my post is to remind myself that I have a good and gracious God and that I need to find Him again. For anyone going through a hard time, this is for you as well. Find Him, for He will take your problems and suffer for you so you don’t have to. He’s proven that for me and will do it for you too.  

Before I go, I’ll say my prayer.. to myself. 

Goodnight, Amen 🙏🏼 

Fit Mom.. who has the time!?

My first blog post of the new year and it just seems fitting that I speak about health and fitness since that’s usually on the top of everyone’s resolution list! It definitely is on mine! Tomorrow makes me 4 months postpartum. My fitness journey leading up to it has literally been all over the place. I have no schedule, no routine, no magic pill, or secret. Just literally been all over the place! Luckily, I am down to pre-pregnancy weight which I never thought I’d see coming because like everything else, I overthink and stress before anything actually happens! So, my resolution was to just get back into shape, better shape, and just enjoy the process regardless of how it goes.

Being a new mom, you really have to be creative with your time. Seriously, I have no idea how some fit moms do it. They look amazing with like a 2 week old and you wonder, how did she have the time?! Some moms that I follow really do put in the work and MAKE the time. Like I said, get creative with it. One fitness mom I follow said she would go at crazy hours of the night to work out! Me on the other hand, I’m freakin’ lazy. I admit it! I work full time from home, along with taking care of the baby 24/7, myself, the actual house, and the list just goes on. The down time I do have I research and read to disconnect, it helps me destress. I do get to go to the gym for about an hour or so sometimes, but I wish I could really go everyday and put my all into it. I’m just lazy! I would rather sleep! I take full advantage of when I can get some good ol sleep! The baby isn’t sleeping through the night, so when he is sleeping at night I sleep too. During the day, I do not sleep I’m on going like the energizer bunny along with him!

Point I’m trying to make here is, it would be lovely to be a fit mom but who has the time!? Well, we really do have the time we just have to be creative with it and really make it happen! It’s possible. If there are moms out there with more than one kid that can do it, surely I can too! WEEEE!

I made myself a little goal to achieve.. just one cheat every two weeks until March. Eat cleaner wholesome meals, workout when I can however I can, and just be patient and kind with myself and my body. Get creative! While I wash dishes, I’ll do kick backs! While I cook, I’ll do squats! While I hang out with the baby on the floor, I can do abs! It’s all possible! Who’s with me !?

True Life: I’m a Formula Feeding Mom

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So I’m sure you’ve seen those beautiful tree of life photos going around social media, sort of like the one I have posted here but slightly different since mine is of a bottle and not a breast. Those pictures are supposed to represent the way a mother is able to feed her child through her, give the child life with all of her nutrients. Also, what I took from those photos is that they show a relationship and bond between mother and baby.

Breast feeding, in my opinion, is one of the most challenging things a mother faces in the very beginning. For some moms, it’s easy. The baby latches on right away and she produces the exact amount the baby needs, sometimes too much! For other moms, its draining and difficult. It isn’t as natural as they thought. Some have to use a nipple shield, some can’t stand the pain, some can’t get baby to latch, and some can’t produce enough at all. I was apart of that group. The mom that really did try, but maybe not hard enough. At the hospital, I knew I wanted to attempt to breast feed. I went to the classes, I read about it, and I thought.. this has got to be easy! It’s natural, I make milk to feed my baby, I GOT THIS! Boy was I wrong.

The baby had a weak latch, so for this reason, the nurses at the hospital woke me up every hour to feed for as long as I possibly could. Watched me latch him on, watched his little mouth try his best to get what he could, watched me pump right after, weighed the baby, then all over again! Boy was it draining. But I knew nothing worth having comes easy, so I continued to try and try. Finally a lactation nurse came around and gave me a nipple shield. I thought this was going to be the light at the end of the tunnel!

Nope! Finally home and it was tough to say the least. Lucas was dropping weight like crazy and I needed to supplement. I tried to pump, eat the oatmeal and flaxseed, latch him whenever possible, bought tons of nipple shields to have them on demand just in case, went to lactation classes, tried to pump (I hated pumping), took Brewers yeast even but it was never enough. Supplementing with formula was what helped my little guy strive.

Formula feeding is not easy either, I think this was more stressful than breast feeding! Finding the right formula, one without crazy ingredients and chemicals, one that the baby likes, one that doesn’t cause constipation and spit up.. the list goes on. I researched day and night, tried a few different formulas, got heat from my pediatrician and family about which formulas I’m using. I even got into arguments with my boyfriend over this! It was stressful, still is actually. Lucas was constipated and visually uncomfortable. He would cry and push and strain, he would wiggle and spit up and sometimes not poop for days. I went to see a GI, an allergist, his doctor a few times without success.. finally we found a formula that although isn’t perfect or easy to get, it’s got a few more pros than cons so we went with it.

I think these pictures of breast feeding mothers are absolutely beautiful, I can’t help but to feel a little sadness and regret though. For mothers that were where I was, it’s tough for us to cope with the fact that we failed at something that should’ve been so natural. But, we didn’t fail. Our children are being fed regardless and we are doing what we feel is best for them. Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says about it, you are mom and you are wonderful. I’m in a formula feeding mom group on Facebook (not cheesy at all!) and the amount of support you see in there is amazing. Believe it or not, there’s a lot of formula feeding shamers out there. I’ve read that we are killing our babies by giving formula, I even read that formula causes mental illness. I mean that to me is insane. Enough to make us moms feel even more guilty.

I want you moms out there that formula feed not to ever feel guilty. We are great mothers. We are feeding our children and loving on them the best way we know how. We are connecting and bonding with them because we are holding them close while we feed and sometimes I get to stare into my babies eyes, I’m sure you all do too ! I love that someone made that picture for me because that’s exactly what it portrays. Feeding your child is giving them life! So please mommas, don’t ever feel bad about it! Let’s continue to support those breast feeding moms to normalize breast feeding and also support those formula feeding moms to feel acceptance and less guilt.

If you ever need someone to talk to about any guilt you feel, I’m here! But there are also some great support groups out there too. Find whatever you can to help you feel better. A happy mom makes a happy baby and a fed baby is a happy baby!

Irena ❤

 

 

Gender Reveal Party.. Should you have one?

img_9604Stole this from my old blog! I figured this was a great little post and I’ll share it on here!

Anyway, I’ll get straight the point of my post.. Gender Reveal Parties!! Should you have one? I never imagined having a party to reveal the gender of your baby. I don’t think I had ever seen that done before until recently actually. I’m pretty sure my family members would just do a photo or an email, or even just a phone call to let us know what they were having. But I stumbled upon this great little tradition and immediately knew it was how I wanted to reveal the gender of my first baby! And let’s be honest, it’s kind of an amazing idea?!

Right now, today, I’m 20 weeks pregnant (at the time hehe) but at 13 weeks I was able to get a blood test to determine the sex of the baby right away. I jumped right on that! I asked them to please put it in an envelope or something discreet and I would hand it off to my mom and best friend who would be the ones hosting the party. The suspense really did kill me. I had to wait about 5 weeks till it was time to have the party and if you’re pregnant or have been, you know finding out the sex is one of the main things you want to know right away!

The day before the party was my anatomy scan. I probably should’ve waited because this would just confirm what I was having but I trusted the envelope and closed my eyes when they would hover over the baby’s private parts and patiently waited for my party the next day!

The day is here and we are all preparing for the party! My bf is working on the house, cleaning outdoors, and getting the grill ready. My mom and best friend are over finishing cooking and setting up the food tables. I did most of the decorations and table setting as well. My mom and best friend did desserts and arranged the food and decorations for me.  It was coming along great! Most of the people we invited showed up and not one speck of food was left! It was a great little party! Now for the reveal!

My bf thought it would be great to incorporate my dog to help reveal the gender, I thought this would be adorable so we went with that. My mom and best friend came up with a way to include him and when it came to finally reveal it was the most confusing, hilarious, but amazing thing I’ve ever experienced! My dog came running out with a football costume that was green and a sign around his neck that said “Its a Boy!” but since he came out running like a mad dog, the costume was falling off, and the sign had turned I was confused for a couple of seconds until we could finally read the sign and with a huge wave of emotions my boyfriend and I hugged and cried a little bit! We got exactly what we had always felt we would have, a boy!

In my opinion, this has got to be one of the greatest ideas ever. To have a party or gathering with all your friends and family to reveal the gender of your baby. It was an amazing experience and I would encourage any woman expecting to do this with their family. To have a surprise, to let the suspense kill you a little, to see the reaction on your faces when you find out. It’s just an amazing thing! So, if you are trying to decide how to reveal your gender or if you even want to, this is a wonderful way to do it! Have fun with it because I sure did and so glad that everything worked out how it was meant to 🙂

** My son is now 3 months old and I still look back at these pictures and videos and remember the feeling that came over me when I found out his sex! What a amazing journey! Share yours with me in the comments!

My Pregnancy.. in short

img_95331I’ll start by saying that everyone’s story is different. Not all pregnancies are the same and not everyone is supposed to feel a certain way about them. It’s just different and that’s that! But I’d like to talk about mine!

New Years Eve.. on my way to work I stopped to buy the morning after pill. We had a little accident and I thought long and hard for a couple of days but ultimately realized I wasn’t ready to have a baby and decided to grab the pill. On my way in, I stopped at Walgreens, took the pill then went about my day. That night we partied, had drinks, I didn’t think much of it. The rest of the month went like that as well. Until I missed my period!

First test I took came out positive, then the next, then the next. It was obvious, I was pregnant! I called my mom right away and to everyone’s surprise.. I wasn’t happy. I was scared, disappointed, and unsure. I waited a few weeks till I told my boyfriend because I couldn’t accept it. I wasn’t ready. He had just told me he didn’t want kids anymore. We just weren’t in that place.

After long conversations with my mom and my boyfriend we decided to give it a go and that I would have this baby no matter what. It took me a long time to accept it, to love it, to embrace it. Was really tough not how most woman feel. I just kept having to remind myself that I was blessed with a gift some women can only hope for. And after a few months, as my tummy grew and a couple ultrasounds and heart beats later.. I fell in love.

I realized I’ll never be alone ever again. I will always have my son with me and I’ll always have someone that loves me unconditionally.

The months following were tough. I’ll tell you women reading this, try your hardest to not stress and get rest. My pregnancy was easy and healthy but boy was I stressed out over other things. Work load, traveling, driving long distances everyday, trying to stay fit, and lack of support from some people really took a toll on my pregnancy and I found myself alone a lot.

My advice.. if you’re planning to become pregnant make sure you’re in a good place. That the love and bond you have in your relationship is strong enough to handle it. That your partner understands what you’re going through and supports you. That your job understands and gives you some breaks. And that your heart is truly in it. I also suggest buying a heart montitor to listen to the baby’s heart beat. Whenever I felt my lonliest, I listened to his heart beat and remembered he is all I care about and I’m never alone. Thanks for that gift mom!

He’s here now, my little tortuga! And has it been a roller coaster following my up and down pregnancy? YES! That’s for another post!